Here's a complete English translation of all of the game's cutscenes, including the intro and ending. Remember, all of the below is only present in the Mega CD version of Earnest Evans.

A huge thanks to shmuplations for accepting my commission request to get this done -please visit the site!


Earnest: How much longer?

Boatman: Soon, soon! But are you really going to find the thing you're looking for in this place? I just don't see how...

Boatman: Wah!

Earnest: Mind your own business. If it's there, I'll find it.

Earnest: My name is Earnest Evans. I'm a treasure hunter of some reknown in the States. Two weeks ago, I learned of the existence of a 1000-year old Coatlicue statue here in southern Mexico.

Master! We've arrived!

Pre-level 2 cutscene

Earnest: Necronomicon.... an ancient tome of unspeakable evil written in the 8th century. Exactly the kind of legendary, forbidden text that excites an adventurer like me. I normally don't take on jobs or requests, but the burning curiosity to see it with my own eyes has taken possession of me, and brought me here, deep into the heart of Peru. But that isn't the only reason. The client was none other than President Coolidge, leader of the conservative party. What could he be after in this ancient text...? Trying to keep my emotions under control, I cut the speed on my biplane as I cautiously flew into the jungle...

Pre-level 3 cutscene

Earnest: I crossed the creaking rope bridge and made my way towards the Temple of the Wind God.

Earnest: The intense heat from the Peruvian sun beat down on me remorselessly, burning my skin without relief. However, worse perils lied ahead. An eerie darkness loomed over the Temple of the Wind, a darkness with the menace of a poisonous snake.

Pre-level 5 cutscene

Earnest: Hey, are you ok?! Hang in there!

Annet: Who are... wait... the priest?

Earnest: Don't worry. I defeated him. Hey, I'm looking for an old book that's supposed to be in this room... do you know what I'm talking about?

Zigfried: Hahahahahahahaha...

Zigfried: I believe this is what you're looking for?

Earnest: What?!

Zigfried: Pleased to make your acquaintance. I am Zigfried Munhausen. It seems you too were looking for the Necronomicon. Unfortunately, my master, Lord Al Capone, has ordered me to retrieve it. I am sorry, but I shall be taking this book.

Earnest: Capone?! That bastard, what is he up to!

Zigfried: I am afraid I was told nothing.

Earnest: Tah!

Zigfried: Ugh!

Earnest: Agh!

Annet: Yah!

Zigfried: Hahahaha...What a mysterious, evil book this seems to be. Lord Capone will be pleased.

Earnest: Damnit! I was so close...! Ah, I'm sorry, I don't even know your name. I'm Earnest Evans. You are...?

Annet: Annet. I'm Annet.

Annet: I am a priestess whose life is dedicated to keeping the power of the Necronomicon sealed from the outside world.

Earnest: Annet shed heavy tears as she told me about herself, and then continued to cry until exhaustion overtook her and she fell asleep. It's funny, they call me the greatest treasure hunter, yet in times like these, I'm at a complete loss for words... For this girl's sake, we headed towards Europe in pursuit of Zigfried. This job has nothing but question marks. But one thing is absolutely clear: I will crush the Capone family. They should never have crossed me.

Charlotte: Are you ok?

Annet: Mr. Earnest, don't just stand there and stare! We have to get out of here now!

Earnest: Annet, listen. In Europe, a gentleman always treats a lady with kindness. Worry not, Mademoiselle.

Charlotte: But are you sure you aren't injured?

Annet: Huh...

Earnest: Don't worry about...

Earnest: Ugh!

Annet: Kyaaa! Mr. Earnest!

Charlotte: Hehehe

Pre-level 6 cutscene

Ullrich: Oh, so you actually obtained it!

Capone: Like I told you, don't underestimate our family.

Ullrich: I never had any doubts in you.

Capone: Heh, it's just as well. With this, Europe will finally fall into our hands. We have much to think about.

Ullrich: Once we use this Necronomicon to manipulate Hakenkreuze, it will all be simple.

Europe, the land of misty forests... what demons lurk within, ready to grant us the power we seek...

Earnest: Zig appeared before us to tell us the shocking truth: Ullrich was trying to revive an evil God into this world. I don't get on with these ridiculous stories. Zig said he's help us escape if we would help him stop whatever they were planning. As usual, I was already tired of all this.

Annet: What about Lord Capone?

Zigfried: Ah, him? I do feel an obligation to him, but I never agreed to help him destroy mankind!

Earnest: You're an interesting one. Ok. If we can get out of here, we'll meet up at my place. The place is...

Pre-level 7 cutscene

Earnest: Annet and I were able to enjoy a brief respite as we took a plane to the Gobi Desert. We were under the surveillance of Capone's men, however. Zig bought us time and helped us escape, but it seems he was captured himself in the process. In either event, he didn't show up... too bad, as he appeared to know a lot about the secrets of the Necronomicon. He's a mysterious fellow, but for now, he isn't our enemy. It may well be that Zigs and Annet, these humans with extraordinary powers, hold the key to solving this entire puzzle.

Pre-level 9 cutscene

Annet: Mr. Earnest, is this?!

Earnest: It looks like it.

Earnest: I heaved the ochre-rusted slab to the side, and wiped the dust away. Lying beneath was an ancient medal. It was old, yet radiated a tremendous aura, and seemed to contain something dreadfully sinister within.

Earnest: Here I go Annet, I'm going to pick it up. Stand back!

Annet: Be careful.

Earnest: Ugh!

Earnest: Annet, watch out!

Annet: ...

Earnest: Stop, Annet!

Earnest: Aaa, Annet! Hey, are you ok?

Annet: I, I... what happened? What am I doing with this medal...?

Earnest: Annet seemed to have lost all memory of the moment she touched the Elder Sign. At this time, I can only surmise that Annet's powers as a priestess somehow called forth its mysterious power. When I tried to touch the Elder Sign, it electrocuted me. Perhaps it can only be touched by those who are chosen...

Earnest: This slab...? Hmm? Wind? One of the characters carved here means "wind." It's very faded--I can't quite make out the details, but I think its some kind of spell. In any event, they must be after this Elder Sign. Shall we bring it to them, and go rescue Zig? But what about deciphering the message... hmm... I've got it! Annet, I need you to do something for me.

Annet: Y, yes!

Earnest: I handed the Elder Sign off to Annet, and safely rescued Zig from Capone's men. But it cost me a plunge into the dark, cold ocean... Damnit! Capone's men were ready and waiting for me, stacked to the nines with machineguns. Now, I don't mind dying like some heroic prince in a fairy tale, who risks it all to save the sleeping princess... but there's nothing romantic about eating a bullet. Having safely gotten away, Zig told me about one of Capone's hideouts, where he won't be expecting us. I'm looking forward to teaching Capone the meaning of regret--what happens when you mess with the world's #1 adventurer.

Earnest: Of the many bases Capone has setup throughout the world, there are some whose existence is top-secret. In one such base in South America, there exists incriminating documentation that Capone has sought to hide. It's the proof we'll need if we're going to get the authorities after Capone. A hot wind envelopes me as I step onto the soil of Mexico once again.

Pre-level 10 cutscene

Earnest: CAPONE CAPTURED! ...those words graced the headline of every newspaper in America. Just as planned, Capone was dealt with by the American authorities.

Earnest: Annet, how did things go with the slab?

Annet: The writing on the slab deals with the summoning of the evil God of the Wind, Hastur...

Zigfried: A summoning spell?

Annet: It describes how to seal away Hastur in another dimension.

Zigfried: Perfect!

Earnest: Annet, that spell, did you?

Annet: Yes, I've learnt it!

Earnest: Zig proposed that we take a raft downriver to the Temple...

Annet: Yaah! Argh! Ahh! You didn't say it was going to be like this!

Zigfried: I didn't know! I thought it was some quiet little rambling stream! But hey... an "adventure" means facing the unexpected!

Earnest: Shut up! Prepare yourself!

Everyone: Argh!

Earnest: Jesus, are you trying to get us killed?

Zigfried: We'll be lucky to get through this alive.

Annet: Yah!

Pre-level 12 cutscene

Earnest: Are you guys ready for this?


Annet: Is it over?

Zigfried: Impossible! This is Hastur, the God of evil! There is no way he would go down so easily...

Zigfried: Something is coming out!

Annet: Ah...Argh!

Earnest: Annet, the spell!

Zigfried: Hurry! It's getting closer! Do it now!

Annet: But...

Earnest: Believe in yourself, Annet! You have a power within you that none of us can fathom!

Zigfried: Only you can do this!

Annet: I, I'll do it!


Annet: Begone, back to the void between the stars!

Zigfried: The temple is crumbling! We did it! We've sealed Hastur away forever!

Earnest: Hastur... is that the last we'll see of him?

Annet: The Necronomicon...?

Earnest: ;)

Annet: We did it! It's all over now. Mr. Zig... Mr. Zig?!

Earnest: Where did he run off to?!

Annet: I don't believe it... after going through all that with us!

Annet: Mr. Earnest... thank you for everything. Thanks to you, I was able to fulfill my duty as a priestess.

Earnest: Ah. Do you have anywhere to go?

Annet: No. But, Mr. Earnest, you've already helped me so much, I...

Earnest: Heh...

Earnest: Actually, I'm currently taking applications for an assistant/housekeeper! Priority given to experienced candidates, of course.

Annet: Really? But, is it ok?

Earnest: Annet... as long as it's ok with you. I have to tell you, I'm useless when it comes to chores and cooking. I can't even break eggs the right way!

Annet: You definitely do seem to be a little clumsy!

Earnest: Huh?!?!

Both: Hahaha!

Annet: Ok! Let's do it, Mr. Earnest.

Earnest: Yeah. Shall we be off then?

Annet: Yes!

Annet: Oh, so about tomorrow's breakfast...

Earnest: Mmmmm...I see!

Capone: That bastard Earnest. Heh. But it's just as well. Thanks to him, I've found a girl who I think can be of great use to us.

Coolidge: The Necronomicon... such enormous power. America has no need for such a thing. Not now, nor for the wars that may be yet to come..

Earnest: On the day you start a new journey, you've got to say goodbye to the memories of the past. That's what it means to be adventurer. Can you do it?

Annet: Ah-haha...hay!